man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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