how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
