omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
