the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
