In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
