okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i will never coherently bang her
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
