he told me I talked like a deaf person
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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