Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
