Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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