Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
