he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
