that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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