chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Alive.
So much puke
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
