I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There was a lot of him and a little penis
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
