i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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