Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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