Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
