pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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