why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
