Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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