Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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