my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize