you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
