Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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