He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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