just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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