Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
