it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
