Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
