its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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