Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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