i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
