What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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