i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
