Buhtt sex?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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