I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize