Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
