You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
