there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
