I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
