spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
