I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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