Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize