At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
