It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
