You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have aggressive nipples.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
