Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
