he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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