you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
