did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So much rum. So many feels.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
