Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
