I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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