I'm jealous of your bromance
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
