Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
