I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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