Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Your cock deserves a montage
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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