Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
