OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
