Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just gargled with NyQuil
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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