i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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