I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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