And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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