I want to stick my p in your. b.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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