I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When did angry sex become our thing?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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