I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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