Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sarcasm needs its own font
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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