can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
