Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
